I Just Want to Be

As a hospice nurse, I deal with death and dying every day. It’s my profession and my ministry. But when I lost my mom a couple of months ago, everything changed.

I’ve been walking through my own grief, and honestly—it’s hard. I don’t always have the words. I don’t always have the energy. And sometimes… I just don’t want to talk.

People mean well, but when I say, “I don’t want to talk,” please don’t try to fix me. Don’t try to counsel me. Just let me be.

My dad passed away over forty years ago, and even now, that pain can still hit fresh out of nowhere. Now, with both of my parents gone, I find myself in a space that’s quiet and heavy. I don’t want to cry all the time—I want to cry when I cry.

I can’t grieve for others, and right now, I can’t carry anyone else’s pain. I need time. I need space. I need grace.

Grief is real, and it hurts. Sometimes, the most healing thing we can do is simply be still.

If you’ve ever felt this way, know you’re not alone. 💙

—Shelia Nelson-Meredith, RN

The Hospice Coach | Quality is Intentional!